Its no secret that over 50% of employees do not feel appreciated. They continue to show up and contribute in exchange for their paycheck. It’s not how it started. Most people begin their jobs with enthusiasm and varying degrees of hope for the future.  As time passes and they are overlooked and under-appreciated, their enthusiasm fades. So does their willingness to do more.

When faced with this feedback, most managers are either surprised or defensive. After all, they have “an open door policy” and their teams “knows they can come” to them anytime. Yea – but that’s not how it works. Humans are living, breathing, feeling beings.

Thinking thoughts of gratitude is cool, but it only benefits the thinker. Appreciation is more than a check mark or an award on the wall. Appreciation is a FEELING event. . . and an act of communicating value and praise for something to someone. Think about it. When’s the last time you FELT appreciated?

Appreciation connects people and reinforces the preferred behaviors and contributions. If you keep it a secret, then your highest contributors will find someplace else to work, live, volunteer, etc.

Today’s tip:

Take time to appreciate the people you value.

Or they might find someone else who will. 

Music is a universal language with a power to elevate, liberate and unite. Music reminds us there’s something in addition to “me” in the world. We share space; a planet, home, neighborhood, bus, traffic light, airport, job, boss, goal, etc. – with a desire for connection and space to belong.

Even with a universal language and broad commonalities, we navigate and surrender to immense differences. Both social and broadcast media hype up our disparity and dominate our attention. Our sense of connection collapses under the deep divisive banter. Quickly what differentiates us morphs into mockery or contempt; sizing up and sorting through the people in our shared space, limiting any sense of belonging.

When we scan for threats and parade our differences, we distance ourselves from the exact place we belong. Living and working like this depletes our energy.  We can spend years demanding others apologize and change or convert to our way, while we continue in self-deception. . . Or we could tune in and listen to the music.

You may prefer smooth jazz, heavy metal, country or rap. Thanks to technology we can bring our favorite music where we go. Have you ever listened to your favorite music on a challenging day? It’s magical. You get transported from a bad mood, play favorite music, BIG SHIFT into happier mood. Poof! It’s equally magic seeing the transformation in another person . . . Walking down the street and there they are, open-hearted-total-body dancing, without a care in the world. Magnificent! And . . . contagious! Their dancing elevates our mood. We would certainly benefit with more.

At work, home or our commute – what if we considered that people’s “dance” at work, life, love, etc. varies depending on the genre? Is it possible to shift from showcasing differences as potential threats to tuning in to and dancing with the people around us?  There have been sightings around the world!  Not so much at work, home or the highway.

Did you know that people pay money, travel and join a crowd of strangers to watch, listen, sing and dance?  There’s not much notice on political or religious difference. Instead, there’s an understanding. Everyone somehow acknowledges a shared interest. The differences are immaterial. The performance and music unite those who might otherwise be enemies. Theater and concerts. . .

Why do we only celebrate at the concert? What if we invite celebration and understanding into our work and personal arena? The artist needs to harmonize and collaborate with other musicians and instruments, just like we live and work with others. The differences are notable. But tuning in is usually part of the jam.

Today’s Tip:

• Tune In.
• Observe.
• Chances are that your favorite genre has more than one music note, person or instrument. Listen to and celebrate harmonic connection. It’s contagious and feels like magic!

There IS “something besides us in this universe; harmonic connection between all    . . . everywhere.”

(Robin Williams)

At dinner few weeks ago, a friend announced she was leaving her job. Quitting. After years of dedicated leadership, innovative partnership, exceptional performance and managers hailing her as a “high potential” employee, she voted with her feet. She left. Gave her 2 weeks’ notice and was gone. Her leaders were stunned. Upon receiving the resignation notice, one manager told her she “couldn’t do that”.

Her superiors were surprised, her colleagues were not. She’d been devoted to delivering her best to her work, her boss and her team. So, what happened? Why did she decide to leave now? Simply put; She was tired of “fitting in”.  After chasing between the published values and the turbulent environment, she was unable reconcile the difference. It was a defining moment.  She was exhausted from the mental gymnastics. We could see it in her expression.

How was anybody surprised? Leaders are human. Anyone in leadership knows the job can quickly morph into a mountain of deliverables, meetings and answering to their bosses. It’s easy to overlook the value of connection when you are spread thin. Work relationships evolve into a transactions, checklists and power struggles. However, the best leaders squeeze in time to meet with the employee, followed by buzzwords and rhetoric, that can leave the employee feeling like a task or burden. After years of this, and employees eventually end up in the middle of a defining moment. . . and high performers quit. Ouch!

Feelings influence our thoughts and contributions. Like it or not, emotions and moods fuel the energy of every team, big or small. If they’re positive – so is the experience. If they are not the result is often frustration or dissatisfaction. Moods are not tidy and tough to fit on a scorecard. Without some metric tied directly to the leader, many try not to get too involved.

Avoiding emotions doesn’t serve the individual, the team or the organization. When the glossy well-crafted strategic message is out of sync with common behaviors, a breakdown begins. Left untended, the message loses credibility and authenticity begins to wane. Leaders spread thin and frustrated, remain unaware that their highest performing employee prepares to leave.

We want our high potential employees to stay. They account for 5% of most teams They add value and often give more than they take. They generally help the team and fill in where a leader cannot.

These are a some of the high-value characteristics of High Potential Employees:

• Respond well to feedback
• Don’t buckle under pressure
• Take initiative
• Help colleagues and do more than their “job description” requires
• Work well autonomously and in groups/teams

People want to believe company Mission/Vision Statement and their leader’s inspiring message. So much that many overlook discrepancies and try to adapt or fit in. To fit in, they relinquish their authenticity/their best self.  When what the leaders say and what they do are out of balance, our best people leave.

Today’s Leadership Tip: Take Heart & Connect

• Stop Talking & Listen Deeply
• Allow space and connect with the power of emotions in the moment
• Check your self-awareness. Are you the leader who believes their high-potential employee can’t or won’t quit?     Are you sure?

Inclusion with Diversity matters.

Why?

Fitting in can feel like the easier option. . .

the price is never truly connecting with your authentic self

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted.

Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”– Brené Brown

 

 

Wouldn’t it be great if what we truly wanted was only a click away? Remember the scene in the Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy wanted nothing more than to go home? Little did she know she was empowered with that option all along.  Unfortunately, she got distracted by the events going on around her. Only after she had exhausted all of her fantastic options, was she able to recognize how to get what she wanted. With a few clicks of her heels, she was home.

Life isn’t much different. We spend our resources chasing dreams and deadlines. When we aren’t doing that, we generally keep moving to ensure we get somewhere fast. Our business creates complexity and we tend to get distracted but continue spinning our wheels. After chasing everything else, we surrender to the moment with occasional glimpse of clarity . . . and we are able to more mindfully connect with our core values and others.

Higher level mood states promote a strong sense of gratitude and appreciation.  Isn’t it interesting that when we are in a good frame of mind, thanking others is a natural component of interacting and not a task or chore? We have technology that supports connecting with and appreciating people. Saying thank you is only a click away. Technology drains us or energizes us, depending on how we are engaging with it.

Whether your day feels like you’ve been blown into a strange place like Oz, or your day is not as interesting or adventurous, thanking others will lift the moods and thinking of the giver and the receiver. Higher level mood states, lead to higher level decision-making. Higher level decisions support better environment and work experience. They also connect us with the people and core values, leaving less room for distractions.

Want to have a better day – it’s a click away. . . call, text, email, video, leverage social media, etc. Thank someone, stop chasing what doesn’t last and determine where you are and where you want to be. Thank a colleague. It’s a click away.

Our work can get messy. There are problems. We apply various practices and strive to be mindful and successful at work. And still work gets messy. Today’s success is not a one-and-done deal. One size does NOT fit all.  Yesterday’s brilliant “win” may not help today.

Our plans for achievement in the beginning are generally not what we end up with.  Not even close. By it’s very nature work and life are unpredictable and messy. Daily we encounter the chaotic and surprising.

Chaos can affect us directly and personally. We show up expecting one thing and get quite another. Predictable unpredictability happens to us all. In the midst of the surprises we can discover a path filled with continued learning, if we are open. Curiosity influences the engagement and impacts our ability to work skillfully in the moment.

Anyone can be a critic. Being curious and open to connections and learning are what differentiate us and promote our collective success. Is there space for you to shift from judgment to curiosity? What path and learning will you and your team explore?

 

 

 

Diversity and Inclusion are big topics of discussion, strategy and training. The Greater Good Science Center suggests that:

“An obvious fact of human life is that there are many different kinds of people and the idea is that this diversity drives cultural, economic, and social vitality and innovation. Decades of research suggest that intolerance hurts our well-being and that individuals thrive when they are able to tolerate and embrace the diversity of the world.” 

Diversity is a term that describes: Individual Differences (life experiences, learning and working styles, personality types)  and Group/Social Differences (race, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, country of origin, class, gender, intellectual traditions and perspectives, as well as cultural, political, religious, and other affiliations) That Can be Engaged Together  to Achieve Excellence.

Inclusion is a term that describes: The Active,Intentional and Ongoing Engagement with Diversity Where Individuals are Encouraged to Connect, Collaborate and Succeed

Together, Inclusive Diversity is: An environment of inclusive diversity is one where all  team members receive equitable treatment, with the ability to whole-heartedly  contribute,  embrace and model well-defined core values.

 

How are you caring for inclusion while honoring diversity in your interactions?

Imagination. Innovation. Creativity. Disruption. Discretionary Effort. Employee Engagement.

Globally executives and leaders express these words as a call to action.  How is it possible that, collectively, we continue with old patterns that have not served us well? Lack of access to information use to be an adequate reason for repetitive mistakes. Today, that’s not the case. We are privy to more information than ever, yet we continue to do the things the way “we’ve always done them”.

How do we shift and change our habits? It begins with nothing. An empty space.  It’s about allowing a pause between listening and speaking; between stimulus and response. French composer Claude Debussy said, “Music is the space between the notes”.

Today’s tip: – Practice the Pause

Intentionally open space in your conversations (including the self-talk you have going on in your head).  Decide to practice the pause. Breathe. At least 10 seconds of no sound.  See what happens when you invite space into your work, your team, and your experience. Who knows, maybe those call-to-action words of creativity and connection may become more if we open space for innovation.

“It’s a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately filling up space.”  Pema Chodron

Golf. It’s an interesting sport. I was familiar with it, but didn’t play or take a lesson until I was in my 40’s. If you’ve played you know that watching and playing are worlds apart.  Quickly I discovered there was much to learn as I transitioned from armchair critic to negotiating with my ball and club. My best intentions morphed into sweating, frustrations and swearing at the ball. . . as if it had a mind of its own.  My want to and my “can-do” were out of whack.  Funny how that works, in golf and life.

To clarify, I am a student of the game. I like golf . . . and sometimes I hate it. It’s a metaphor for so many things. I have explored infinite gadgets, opinions, and possibilities, but if I wish to play, I have to do 3 things: 1. Decide. 2. Show-up and 3. Follow-Through. Over and over again. For 18 holes. We won’t talk about my scores. My game is earnest, not pretty.

Follow-through is as important as anything else. It’s where the game comes together or falls apart. Perfect back-swing and contact in the sweet-spot of the ball are good, but when I don’t follow-through, my experience becomes a frustrating hook, shank and slice-fest. Follow-through completes the swing, not contact with the ball.

It was a big ah-ha for me. I was the poster-child for hard work, grit and determination to achieve success. Then came golf. A harder or more determined swing did not improve my game. I had to find my swing and follow-through. Practice and play.  And allow space for some success and some failure. It co-exists. Like everything else.

Today’s Tip: Follow-Through and Finish Your Swing!

1. Decide: prepare to play
2. Show-up: Find your swing
3. Follow-through! Finish your swing. Again and again.

Anyone who’s played golf with me knows that I sing while I play. It reminds me to follow-through and complete my swing with my song. Follow-through! Finish your swing, your goal, your project, your creation, etc. Sing if you must. Keep going.

Image is a strobe picture of Bobby Jones golf swing (source: http://www.clubmaker-online.com/bj003.gif)

C.S. Lewis said, “What you see and what you hear depends a great deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.”  This raises some questions: 

• What do you see? 
• What kind of person are you? 
• Are we so different from each other?
• Who do you hear or listen to?
• And . . . Who has time for standing? We’re busy here!

Interesting thoughts, but we are busy! Conference calls, plowing through emails, phones ringing, technology buzzing and people demanding our attention. We diligently labor to ensure personal and professional success. Long hours each day, relying heavily on technology to keep us connected.

Our interactions bring us closer or create more distance. We encounter a LOT of people and occasionally we become frustrated, discouraged or just too busy. And yet – none of this works if we don’t work together. One person can influence an entire organization. Influence can be positive or it can be disruptive. It happens so quickly and gets complicated in a hurry. That’s one reason the practice and reminder of gratitude are a priority. It helps us level set, to remember that there is always someone deserving of our kindness and appreciation. There is always something to be thankful for. 

There’s a song by The Alternate Routes called, Nothing More, that was created in support of Newtown Kindness, Newtown, CT shared below. (Newtown Kindness has been renamed the Charlotte Helen Bacon Foundation).  And perhaps the next time we find someone challenging or frustrating, we’ll remember that (like it or not) we are connected. How we treat each other makes a difference. May the words from their song nudge us to be a bit more kind. 

What DO we see and hear? Where DO we stand/sit? Do we transact or do we connect? What if our value was based solely on how we treat others? What sort of person are we?